It’s Monday again and that doesn’t make me super happy, but after almost a month of being stuck in a funk, things are finally starting to look up! That’s good news!
I had a lovely weekend (minus the five hours I spent on the phone and in the office for work on Saturday). It was exactly what I needed after another crazy week.
But before we get into that, I wanted to share that I’m hosting a blog series over at Your Super Awesome Life for the next two weeks. It’s a collaboration among the most inspiring women I know, sharing tips and secrets about what they wish they knew as a teen girl. I hope you’ll check it out!
Okay, back to my weekend.
After work I met up with some friends at a new brew-house for happy hour. We sat out on the patio and talked for hours about anything and everything. Perfect way to end the week.
On Saturday I went shopping and bought a few final items for Vegas, so I finally feel prepared to pack and can stop stressing about that. #BiSC begins on Thursday and I’m so very excited to have a few days away, catch up with my favorite girls, and relax in one of my favorite cities. I can hardly wait!
Peter and I watched a few episodes of The West Wing and spent the evening on the couch watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s. He had never seen it before! We decided that Holly GoLightly is an irritatingly unstable hooker, but has the most amazing wardrobe. And a cute cat.
I also got in two runs, a 4.5 miler on Saturday and a 5 miler on Sunday. It was my first time running without music or an audio book and it was so much better than I expected. I always thought I couldn’t run in silence, but I totally proved that wrong. Today I had the best run- easy breathing, strong legs- I could have kept going for miles!
For Mother’s Day, my sister and I went to my mom’s house for lunch, cupcakes, and then watched Midnight in Paris. Besides being an overall fun afternoon, we had some important conversations, in the best way possible. I blogged about it here.
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I went for a run this morning, but it wasn’t like my other runs.
Usually I push myself. I lace up my sneakers, plug in my headphones, and set out on the pavement with the intention of running hard. I don’t run as fast as I can or as far as I can, but still, I run hard. I focus on my breathing. In and out. I feel my feet hitting the street. And I run. When I’m finished, I feel tired. I’m dripping sweat, my legs are tired, and I know I did well. Even if it wasn’t my best run, I feel proud for putting my energy into it. But it’s not easy. I have to try. Every day. I fight the battle with the voices in my head. Is this far enough? Can I stop here today? My breathing is getting shallow, I should take a walking break?
This morning was different. I pushed myself to take it easy. My mantra?
Whatever will be, will be.
I walked when I wanted. And then I ran as fast I could. I let Louis stop for potty breaks 276 times and I didn’t get anxious because he was slowing down my pace. We didn’t run as far as we normally do, but that’s okay. I felt more relaxed and less stressed.
I felt happier.
Sometimes I think we need to be easy on ourselves. For the past six months, running has been a place where I go hard. Sure, I take walking breaks, but I’m always pushing to lower my time. When I have a slow run, I am disappointed with myself. I’m always learning about my body and what it is capable of. And then I push it to the next level. I crave the sweat and the exhaustion.
But today my body was telling me it needed a break. It needed rest.
It wasn’t the best possible exercise I could have done, but it my best for today. And that’s what matters.
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1. The last three weeks at work have been insanely busy and full of stressful and heartbreaking situations. I’ve come home exhausted every day and want to do nothing but crawl into bed. I went to sleep at 7:30pm on Wednesday, no kidding! The good news is that it seems everything is slowing down. We’ve been discharging several kids (they’re going back home, yay!) so that means less appointments and less family meetings and less paperwork. I’m hoping next week will be much calmer. Fingers crossed!
2. Since I’ve been so run down with work, I haven’t had much energy for anything else. I haven’t seen my friends for weeks and it’s so sad! I have a few tentative friend dates this weekend and I’m really looking forward to having fun. Tonight I’m going to a friend’s house for a “cocktails and facials” party which I’m super excited about. Saturday I might go to the Pecan Street Festival and Linda and I want to have a cooking date!
3. I bought a juicer last weekend and I can officially say I’m obsessed! I’ve made 1-2 juices every day and every single one has been amazing. My favorite recipe is 5 handfuls of spinach, 2 stems of kale, 1 orange, 2 apples, 1 lemon, 1 celery stalk, and 1/2 a cucumber. Actually, that’s probably enough to make two juices, so you could save some for later! Yum!
4. Peter and I made a bet this week since the Rangers and Blue Jays (our favorite baseball teams) we’re playing each other. If the Rangers won the series, Peter had to blog about me every day for a week. If the Blue Jays won, I had to stay off Twitter for 48 hours. Well, the Rangers lost (grrrrrrr!) and I’m currently in hour 39 of no Twitter access. It’s been harder than I thought and I really can’t wait until my time is up and I can follow what everyone is doing again.
5. I bought a box of Funfetti cake mix at the grocery store yesterday. I don’t care that it’s 10am, I’m going make that cake and eat some. Yes, I am.
Happy Friday!
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This week on Totes Awesome Channel we’re sharing what would be on our rider if we were a celebrity. You know, all the extravagant demands we’d make for our dressing room like Sherpa blankets, twinkle lights, three bowls of green M&Ms, and an endless supply of red wine.
What would be on your rider?
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The past two months have been a complete blur. When I think back, I can’t remember one significant event from March, except for the hours I spent building and creating Your Super Awesome Life. But I know that didn’t take up all of my time. So what else was I doing?
And April is about the same, although there was a lovely five day trip to Canada thrown in there. And I applied for my new job.
My point is that I don’t remember specific days, the smaller events, the day-to-day. I don’t remember spending time with the people I love and I don’t remember creating memories- which is probably I don’t have any.
That makes me sad… and kind of freaks me out.
I don’t want a life that is going by so quickly, where I’m so wrapped up in whatever, that I’ve lost the ability to create my own memories.
So my intention for May is intention.
I want to intentionally wake up each morning, intentionally read the blogs I love, intentionally go to work and focus my energy while in the office. I want to have intentional conversations, and intentionally relax, have fun, and be free.
It might seem like a stretch to intentionally live your life, but I feel like that’s what I need. I need to make each moment a specific moment, a specific memory. And from there, I can gradually let go until it becomes a habit to live in the moment.
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It’s 7:26pm and I feel inspired to write.
I haven’t had this feeling in a while.
You may have heard some of the chatter around the blogosphere about how blogging has changed and how it isn’t “what it used to be”. And I agree. Whatever “what it used to be” means to you.
There has been too much comparison. Too much wanting to be something I’m not.
When I started blogging, it was my outlet. It was a place for me to share my thoughts and feelings. A place to express myself without being judged (thankfully!) and without building up walls. But somewhere over the years, it’s changed. For me, at least. I still love blogging and I adore the community of friends that I’ve met, but something is not the same. Besides the ways that blogging has changed as a whole, I’m not as authentic in my writing as I used to be and I miss the old me, the old posts I wrote. I miss not worrying about advertisers and sponsors and page views and comments. I miss being me.
So on this Monday evening, I am making a vow to myself. I am setting the intention to be more authentic, more personal, less contrived, and less polished.
From this point forward, this blog is me.
Let’s do this.
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I’ve mentioned it before, but this past week was super busy and stressful. Late nights at work and all. But I did manage to take a few photos on Instagram. If you want to follow along I’m superawesomeashley.
1. Pizza delivery! Courtesy of the best boyfriend ever. Cc @peterdewolf
2. Infinity scarf for spring.
3. Driving home.
4. Present to myself for launchig Your Super Awesome Life!
5. Holy Yum.
6. My boyfriend wrote another book. You should read it.
7. Come on, Wednesday, let’s do this!
8. Babysitting at its finest.
9. Hello, lover. (I got a juicer! Squeeeeee!)
10. First green juice from the new juicer! Yum!
Today I’m planning to go for a 5 mile run, test out my juicer a couple more times, and continue reading The Fire Starter Sessions. I’ve just finished the first section and I’m loving it so far!
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1. Early this week I posted about something that happened last Thursday. I had to be vague because it’s not entirely my story to share and it involves my family. It was a difficult time for me and full of stress, and what do I do when I’m stressed? I write. So thank you for reading and leaving such supportive comments. It means a lot to know that I have all of you and that you will be there, even when I can’t be an open book. Hugs all around!
2. Tonight I’m babysitting for a family I have not met before. I was recommended to them through a friend, and of course I said yes. It just seems a bit strange that I’m 27 years old and spending my Friday night watching kids. Anyway, I’m looking forward to a “pizza and movie” night and making some easy money.
3. I was so tired last Friday that I slept 15 HOURS! The past two weeks have been so super busy with training for my new job while still working my current job. I’ve been working 10 hour days that are full of heart-breaking stories and kids crying in my office. I leave work exhausted and tense and wishing I could wave a wand and make everything better.
4. I officially start my new job on Monday. Hooray! It will be nice to see a little bump in my pay check. Plus, new business cards and a new name plate on my office door will be fun!
5. Louis the puppy and I have been running together regularly. We haven’t made it more than 3.5 miles at a time, but we’ve managed to sneak a run in almost every day. He loves it and I love having a puppy in front on me encouraging me to run further. I’ve also been bit by the racing bug again. I knew this would happen after the half-marathon, and it’s here in full force. I doubt I can do another half before the fall (Texas summers are brutal), but maybe a 10K? I need to start doing some research. I want to run a race!
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